Beatles slash?!

Y'all, is there Beatles slash?

IS THERE?

OMG! So annoyed!

People. I don't even know what to do with myself.

In September of 2006 I joined this stupid chorale. What can I say? It's in my neighborhood, so it's convenient, and I missed singing. Little did I (or perfectbinding, who had the good sense to quit after last fall) know that the chorale is a dysfunctional and largely inept group of 50+s who have all known each other for approximately 100 years (and some of whom can barely read music, for serious).

But that's not the real problem. The problem is the director, who is sort of half-way competent, but deeply meddling, in that self-assured way directors can be -- of course your business is their business. This became very clear when I recently emailed him -- three weeks in advance of the event -- to tell him a family obligation would prevent me from attending one of the final rehearsals before our concert.

That night at rehearsal we were all treated to a solemn lecture about the evils of missing rehearsals without giving ample warning. When I got home, I found this email in my inbox:

Priss,
We're in the last three weeks of the project where late notice means we've run out of time to deal (see policies). What has come up so suddenly that you just found out about? (I know it can happen).
--Douchebag

Now, I don't know about you, but I found his unapologetic inquiry into my business a little off-putting. I mean, I'd be sort of shocked if my boss asked me that, let alone someone I gave $90 of dues to in September. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became, not the least because the chorale just isn't that rewarding an experience to begin with. If I weren't nearly the most competent musician in the lot I might have felt differently. But the fact is, I'm not the one who needs the rehearsal time.

I wrote him back.

Dear Douchebag,

I'm sorry my absence at the rehearsal on April 30th is such an
inconvenience. I wish I had known about it before the final three weeks
were at hand.

I hope you know that I don't take my commitment to the chorale lightly.
However, in this case I have decided to choose in favor of a conflicting
event. I don't feel that I have an obligation to provide you with
specifics, or to justify my reasoning. I hope you understand.

If you feel that my absence at the rehearsal on the 30th or my
disinclination to justify myself pose a problem for my continued
membership in the chorale, then maybe that's a conversation that needs to
happen. Otherwise, I look forward to being in attendance at the other
rehearsals.

Best,

Priss

I figured it might get me kicked out, but at this point that would be almost a relief.

That was three days ago.

Just now, I received the following reply:

Priss,
These things are tricky. We had a member have his daughter announce she was getting married the day of our concert. Sometimes there's nothing to do. Maybe we should talk over the phone about the 30th.
--Douche

So...OK. I get that he isn't hearing the part where the reason I won't be there is none of his business. The question now is, if my previous email, which seemed to me to be so direct as to be nearly uncivil, was ineffective at conveying this concept, what on earth else can I say?

I have a real aversion to burning bridges (plus all these people live in my neighborhood), so I don't really want to send him a fuck-you email; also, I'd feel kind of crappy about myself for bailing on the chorale three weeks before the concert... but the prospect of trying to communicate with this guy any further is really not so appealing.

What, oh wise flist, would you do?