Seeking recommendations

I want to have someone do something magical to me. Like tell my fortune or cleanse my aura or align my chakras or what have you. I want an experience that is quasi-spiritual but not religious; that invokes some kind of mystical power but doesn't demand that I believe in it -- just that I participate in it. I want to be the center of attention for an hour or two while a highly-trained practitioner of the sacred arts makes me feel all tingly and special. If there's massage involved, so much the better.

Suggestions?